This abandoned blog makes me feel like a jackass.

I've been crazy busy with this tamale thing.  I have a kitchen, permits, and a spot at the local farmer's market.  I haven't been so busy I couldn't carve out an hour to work out though.  I suck.  205.6 this morning.  Actually, I consider maintaining a success at this point.  I'm 3lbs up from my low weight, but 3lbs is nothing.

Crazy

Seeing it side by side really helps me.  Please let this be enough to kick my ass into working out again.  

Ahhh so stressed

202.8 this morning.  I wish I could say I earned it, but nope, just stress and anxiety at work.  I've got that constant nausea which works well for appetite control.  Don't worry, I'm forcing myself to eat even though I'm not the least bit hungry.  Anyway.. this is what 202ish looks like on me.

211 this morning.

That was a little surprising.  I went on a carby binge over the weekend.  Still no working out.  I fool myself into saying I've been busy with tamale stuff, but who am I kidding? I could carve out an hour if I really wanted to.  I really want to lose 20-30lbs before I go to TX for Christmas.  I need to buckle down.  Here's a pic from the weekend.  I swear my friend's camera has magical properties.

Hanging in here.. mostly

Still haven't worked out, and still have no good reason not to be doing so.  I haven't even been cooking tamales.  I have been  exchanging emails with a local restaurant owner.  I'm optimistic that if I haven't found a kitchen to work out of that I will soon.

I did want to come and post though.  I need this accountability even if it's to come say I suck and I should do better.

I didn't weigh in because it's just so bad.  We've talked about my pms and how I retain insane amounts of water.  I have real numbers to back that up.  Yesterday I weighed in at 223.8.  TODAY.  24 hours later, I'm 215.8.  Yes you read that right.  I shed 8lbs in 24 hours. That's why I can't take big losses or gains too seriously.

Lila had her second birthday.  The kids had a blast, but I could have planned better! 

Rainbow Rice

Dipped marshmallows.. ugly, but the kids loved them! 

 Aqua Beads-- these were the hit of the party! 

Cloud Sand = baby oil and flour.  It is great fun to dump it in the aqua beads.  - gross

kids playing

Standing in the aqua beads

Food! I didn't bother with a cake.  We made rice krispie treats dipped in chocolate

My big girl! 

Oh look! 3 babies standing in the aqua beads! They were literally throwing them across the room. Why didn't I see that coming?!

And now they're sitting.  When we took off Lila's diaper there were no fewer than 15 beads in it.  

Lila wearing the "do do" her Granny sent. 

Personal girl stuff below. Read at your own risk lol

Still haven't blogged in a while..

This time I've been busy as opposed to just lazy!

I hit a new low weight last Thursday.  208.6 and I was sooo happy, naturally pms strikes and I'm up to 215 today, but that's ok.  I haven't worked out.  That's not ok.

Lila's birthday is this weekend.  That means 2 years ago right now I was sitting around 383.  So much has happened in 2 years it makes my head spin.

This was 360 days ago

And a couple weeks ago.  I think I'm up 3 lbs here so it's pretty accurate.  

The biggest new thing in my life is that I'm cooking again.  I make tamales, some would argue I make really great tamales! (ok that some is me.. but whatever) Anyway, I'm working out all the details and I'm trying to find a niche here in BGKY.  The good news is that there's no competition.  The bad news is that tamales are exotic and no one knows what they are! I've sold 60ish dozen tamales in the past 2 weeks.  Not too shabby!   I'm trying to turn it into an actual business venue.  I alternate between being super productive and paralyzed with fear at the same time.

Shoulders and arms

Done.. I'm sweaty and happy.